The Art of Giving

The tradition of giving gifts on special occasions has existed for centuries; some say it began with the Romans, who gave evergreen branches and small cakes at the beginning of each year to represent sweetness and prosperity.

 Wishing people love, happiness and good fortune by bestowing an item of value continues today in various forms, and weddings are one special occasion where the giving of gifts to newly wed couples is a precious, and in some cases a sacred practice. While in many cultures it is traditional to give money as a wedding gift, there is something incredibly personal about selecting an item to give your friends or family on their special day. Taking the time and investing both effort and finances into an item that you feel represents the couple, their interests, or their future together is a wonderfully personal way to show your support for their union. A well selected present will also ensure your continued “presence” in their home – as the couple may stop and think of the person who gave them an item each time they use it.

Wedding ettiquette expert and director of the Emily Post Institute Margaret Grayson Post says a wedding gift is a “tangible representation of love and support; a generous offering to help married couples get a head start in their life together.” But that doesn’t necessarily mean a gift should be purely practical or for everyday use; while the couple that is moving into their first home may need a toaster or a set of knives, they may get much more pleasure out of a piece of art that they can place in their home, pieces for a dinner set that they can use on special occasions, or something as simple as a picnic basket – the perfect way to encourage a couple to take time out together in the future!

When thirty-six year-old clinical researcher Kellie Jones and her husband Kristian were married in Port Douglas late last year, they loved receiving thoughtfully chosen gifts from their guests.

“We received some lovely Villeroy and Boch bowls from a friend of my mum. My mum tells me that on her own wedding day, this same friend’s mother gave bowls to my mum and dad as their wedding gift. So there’s a bit of tradition being passed along from one generation to the next which I think is really nice!” Kellie said.

The couple also prefer to give a gift to other couples, when they attend weddings.

“I like the process of coming up with a gift that hopefully the bride and groom will be able to enjoy, as well as be reminded of us when they use it,” she said.

But how do you go about selecting the right gift? When the Australian Governor General, at that time Major Michael Jeffrey, spoke at a pre-wedding dinner for Crown Prince Frederik and the then Mary Donaldson, Major Jeffrey said the Australian Government had two criteria in mind when choosing a wedding gift for the couple. The gift had to be something uniquely Australian, and something that would be regularly seen and appreciated. He chose to give the couple 18 Australian native trees – six each of huon pine, snow gum and cider gum – accompanied by a series of silver plaques describing the trees and commemorating the wedding. The idea was to create a living, and perhaps perpetual reminder of the special occasion, that the couple could place in their own garden and around Copenhagen, and enjoy for many years to come. While this gift doesn’t have a practical, everyday use, it is truly unique, and will no doubt remind the couple of Princess Mary’s homeland, and the place they first met for many years to come – making its sentimental value much greater than any monetary value!

While your gift need not be nearly so extravagant or expensive, do take time to consider what the soon-to-be-married couple means to you, and how you would most like to bless them and the beginning of their union. And if your personal circumstances mean finances are tight, don’t despair! Your gift need not be an item – but if it is given from the heart, it is certain to bring joy to those who receive it.